1. The announcement
For three Sundays in a row, Dorothy had invited her family over for lunch. Everyone was busy.
Her son had work. Her daughter had a headache. Her grandson had read the message, which apparently took the rest of the afternoon.
On Monday morning, Dorothy posted a photograph of herself holding a lottery ticket.
“Still shaking. Never thought this would happen to me. Please give me some time to decide what to do with the money.”
She did not mention an amount.
Richard called immediately.
“Mom, I’ve taken the rest of the week off. I’m coming over.”
“You couldn’t get away for lunch yesterday.”
“I spoke to my boss. He understands.”
“What did you tell him?”
“That you haven’t got long.”
“Richard!”
“To celebrate. Before everyone finds out.”
2. Everyone feels better
By noon, her daughter Susan arrived carrying a homemade casserole.
Dorothy asked about her headache.
“Much better.”
Then Richard appeared with flowers. He explained that work had suddenly become flexible.
Her grandson Jake arrived with a toolbox and began fixing the kitchen cupboard.
“That’s been broken for two years,” Dorothy told Pretend News.
“He’s found the time. I’m trying not to frighten him away.”
When Dorothy offered him twenty dollars for the repair, he refused.
“Grandma, we’re family.”
She put the money back in her purse.
He watched which pocket it went into.
3. A very close family
By the afternoon, the family had started discussing who would look after Dorothy.
Susan said her mother should move in with her.
Richard offered to move into Dorothy’s house so she wouldn’t have to pack.
Jake asked whether she needed a kidney.
Susan immediately offered both of hers.
“You need those,” Dorothy said.
“We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it.”
“I need the bins taken out.”
All three stayed seated.
Pretend News arrived after receiving three separate messages from relatives describing themselves as Dorothy’s closest family member.
We found all three trying to sit beside her on a two-seat sofa.
Our reporter asked whether Dorothy had considered adopting.
“At my age? I couldn’t look after a child.”
“I’m forty-three,” he said. “I can make my own lunch.”
4. The good old days
Over lunch, everyone began reminding Dorothy of things they had done for her.
Richard mentioned driving her to a hospital appointment.
“That was your father,” Dorothy said.
“I came to collect you.”
“That was a taxi.”
Susan brought out a photograph of herself visiting Dorothy at Christmas.
Dorothy turned it over.
“2016.”
“We should do that again,” Susan said.
Meanwhile, Jake quietly changed his Facebook profile picture to one of himself and his grandmother.
He had to crop out his ex-girlfriend.
5. Nobody is leaving
Dorothy assumed everyone would go home after dinner.
Instead, Richard brought a suitcase in from his car.
Susan said she couldn’t possibly leave her mother alone at a time like this.
“I’ve been alone since Friday,” Dorothy said.
“Well, we didn’t know.”
“I sent you a message.”
“Yes, but we didn’t know about all this.”
By bedtime, Richard had claimed the spare room, Susan had taken the sofa, and Jake was inflating a mattress in the hallway.
Our reporter finally stood up to leave.
Dorothy thanked him for coming.
“Of course, Mom.”
Everyone turned toward him.
“Sorry. Dorothy.”
Richard followed him to the door to make sure he left.
6. The truth comes out
The following morning, Dorothy gathered everyone around the table.
“I haven’t won the lottery.”
Nobody spoke.
“The ticket didn’t win anything. I wanted to see whether you’d visit.”
Richard nodded slowly.
“Of course.”
Susan reached across the table and squeezed her hand.
“You don’t have to tell us how much.”
“There is no money.”
“And that changes nothing,” Susan said, looking directly at Richard.
He immediately agreed.
Jake went outside and started washing Dorothy’s car.
7. The second test
Dorothy showed them the losing numbers.
Richard studied the ticket.
“Is this the real one?”
“Yes.”
Susan asked whether the real ticket was somewhere safe.
Dorothy called the shop where she had bought it and put the owner on speaker.
He confirmed that she had won nothing.
Richard waited until she ended the call.
“Good. The fewer people who know, the better.”
Dorothy told Pretend News she had expected an apology.
Instead, Susan was cleaning the windows, Richard was measuring the garden fence, and Jake had asked whether the washing machine needed replacing.
“They think admitting I lied is another test,” she said.
“I’ve never had to work this hard to convince people I’m poor.”
8. The best news channel in the world
On Friday, Dorothy posted a photograph on Facebook. She was beside a hotel pool, holding a drink. Our Pretend News reporter was in the chair next to her.
Richard called immediately.
“Mom, why are you on vacation with the reporter?”
“He invited me. You lot were busy arguing over my spare room.”
“Who paid for all this?”
“He said the news channel was covering it.”
Richard asked to speak to the reporter.
“You went there to interview my mother. How did you end up on holiday with her?”
“I asked if there was anything else she’d like to add.”
“And?”
“She said, ‘Two weeks in Spain.’”
Dorothy leaned toward the phone.
“He’s a very good listener, Richard.”